Short story (for english originally)

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Short story (for english originally)

Post by Brazzlegirl on Mon Oct 17, 2011 5:25 pm

Raspberry jam. The most heavenly mam in the world. You don't believe me? Well then, let me tell you my story.
It was a couple months back, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was just your average stalker pineapple, taking a stroll down the middle of the street in search of raspberry jam. There were a lot of orphanages in the city, but really they were like jails with a different name. I walked in the middle of the street to stay away from them. But walking in the street can have consequences, and, low and behold I fell right down a manhole into a sewer.
I sulked, desperately trying to get out, but to no avail. I was trapped. Worst of all, I wouldn't get my raspberry jam. I wandered through the sewer for a bit, taking in to stock of my situation. I had to get out, but how? Sooner or later, I stumbled upon a lost orphan.
"Who are you?" I said. The girl just stared at me.
"Who are YOU?" She retorted.
"I'm a stalker pineapple," I said. She stared at me again.
"You have no name?" She asked. I gave thought to this.
"Nope, now what's your name?"
"Noella," She responded. Noella, what a lovely name. It reminded me of doorknobs on a warm winter's afternoon.
"What are you doing down here?" I asked.
"What are YOU doing down here?" Noella replied. That was starting to get on my nerves.
"I asked you FiRsT!!" I exclaimed. She recoiled a bit.
"I was trying to escape the orphanage," She said, still cringing. I nodded.
"I fell down here and got lost." Noella grinned at me.
"Maybe we can help each other and get out?" She looked at me expectantly. I shrugged.
So we set off, me, in search of raspberry jam. Noella, for freedom. The sewer was lit by more manholes too high up to reach. Once, Noella threw me at one in hopes that I would be able to escape, but I just smacked into a wall. After that, we agreed no throwing people into walls. Well, I agreed. I didn't know if she did.
After hours of wandering we stopped to rest. Noella wanted to push on, but I waved her back. No use wasting energy going the wrong direction. But I must have accidentally fell asleep couldn't see her while I changed out the Mozart CD, and she wandered off. At first, I panicked.
"NOELLA!" I shouted. "NOELLLLLA!!!!!" I yelled louder. No reply. I rounded the corner warily, and froze.
"Mmph!" Noella tried to say something, but she had been gagged and bound. Instinctively, I rushed over to her to untie her. Bad idea. It happened in an instant. First, I was being put into a sack, then I was hit on the head, then.....nothing.
I woke with a start, not remembering where I was. Then it all came back to me, being captured and put in a sack. I looked around and saw Noella, to my horror, had her hands tied above her head to a chain andh er eyes were closed.
"NOELLA!" I said, but all that came out was "NMMA!" I realized that I had been gagged too. I tried to stand up but I was chained down. All I could do is wait.
A short time later I heard a noise.
"They're awake," A voice hissed. I straightened up. Two huge pineapples walked into the room. Behind them were four smaller ones. They parted and the biggest pineapple I've ever seen stepped through.
"Hello," It boomed. "I am Skull, leader of the Killer Stalker Pineapples. Who are you?" I made an attempt to speak, but again it was stopped by the gag. The huge pineapple snapped and one of the small pineapples scurried over and removed the gag. I coughed a little before speakin.
"I'm a stalker pineapple," I replied. Skull laughed, and the two pineapples started laughing after him. Then the four pineapples laughed after them. I thought it was strange.
"You mean to tell me you don't have a name?" Skull laughed again. I nodded slowly.
"Yes, Skull," but I soon regretted calling him that, because one of the two larger pineapples slapped me across the face.
"You will refer to the master as sir" ONe said. The other nodded.
"Sir, sir, sir,"
"Sir," I said to show them I got it. But they slapped me across the face again.
"ONLY SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO!" The one said. The other one nodded again.
"Spoken to, spoken to," I found that annoying. Finally, things went back to the point.
"Why are you here?" Skull asked. In the corner Noella moaned and stirred. I hesitated.
"I fell into the sewer," Again, cam the wavey laugh.
"Do you not have eyes? Are you blind? Why would you be walking in the middle of the road?" Skull said. I had to be truthful.
"I was walking in the middle of the street to stay away from the orphanages," I told them. They looked at each other, puzzled.
"What is this, or-fan-ag of which you speak?" Skull horribly slurred the word 'orphanage'. If it was on purpose, I couldn't tell. "Is it one of those?" He said, gesturing to Noella. I shook my head.
"No, she's an orphan. An orphanage is a building." They again exchanged puzzled looks, but left it at that.
"Very well," Skull said. The pineapples parted, allowing Skull to pass through before following him.
"WAIT! AREN'T 'CHA GONNA UNTIE US?" I shouted in a panic. One pineapple scampered back, shoved a rag in my mouth, then scurried out. The heavy metal door swung shut, and more flakes of rust fell off of it.
I waited for the voices to fade away, then began to violently yank on my ropes. I struggled for what seemed like days, pausing occasionally to catch my breath. Finally, I wriggled free. I pulled out the gag and ran to Noella.
"Noella," I whispered. She didn't stir. "Noella!" I shook her a bit. Finally, she groaned and her eyes fluttered open.
"Stalker pineapple?" She asked feebly.
"Shh," I said. I looked around for something to cut the ropes with. I spotted some scissors on a small, crudely built table in the corner. Grabbing them I got to work.
Finally, her bonds were free. She rubbed her wrists gratefully.
"Thank you," Noella said. I looked around again.
"We need to get out of here," I said urgently. "who knows what could happen to us?"
"No duh," She replied, standing up. The only exit in the whole room was the creaky, rusty metal door. Noella moved towards it.
"Wait!" I hissed. She turned to me. "That door will surely get us caught. We need to find another way out." She nodded her understanding.
There was one door in the room, obviously. We couldn't take that. There were a couple of primitive wooden stools that resembled chairs along with the poorly built table. A few chains hung from the ceiling. At the very top, I noticed something.
"The AIR DUCT!" I squealed a bit too loudly. I quickly cut it off and hopped onto the chain. It jingled and swung uncertainly as it adjusted to my weight. When I decided it was safe, I motioned for Noella to get up. She clambered up shakily at first, but eventually got her footing and hauled herself up.
The air duct was sealed off with tight bolts, but I easily unscrewed them with the scissors. The cover clattered down to the floor below, and I winced at the noise. I froze for a second, but when no one came me and Noella slunk through the small hole.
It was dark, damp, and cold. We wound through the labyrinth of tunnels, until we came across a light. Warily, we peered down and saw Skull and the two other pineapples.
"What are we going to do with them, boss?" One asked.
"boss, boss, boss," The second pineapple echoed.
"We should turn them in to Master pineapple" Skull said.
Suddenly the world turned into a potato and we all said
"WAA?!?!" Then I said
"We need to stop being stop signs" And Noella said
"NO" So I said
"Oh." Then we were all eaten by sir pickle the 3rd and Skull said
"Darn it," And we all rode down the funnel of life only to emerge at the bottom surrounded by
"KILLER BEES!" A random genie yelled.
"Actually it's true." I pointed out logically, for there were many marshmallows.
"WAA?! Them's not marshmallows!" The killer stalker pineapples wailed.
"Oh." I said again.
"ATTACK MY KILLER BEEZ!" Zeus shouted. The bees flew in and started shooting everyone down with protractor stars.
"NOSE!" Noella shouted as she was shot down.
"Whatever happened to teh PLOTZ?!?! Skull said. Then he was shot down by a protractor.
"I AM TEH SOULD SURVIVOR!" I yelled to the sky.
"Well ain't that dandy," The sky replied. Unfortunately, it was an pie. Then Noella rose up from the ground.
"PLOT?!?!" She screamed. Her eyebrow twitched and she slapped it, knocking herself unconscious
"You want a PIECE OF ME?!" Her alter ego said.
"Yeah, come here you punk!" She said to herself. Just then I yelled
"STOP FIGHTING!" Noella and herself looked up.
"Never mind it's disturbing that you can stare at me twice," I said. Then Noella went back to fighting herself. Everyone laughed and bet on who would win, Noella or Noella. Fortunately for those who bet on Noella, Noella won. Then herself sunk into the ground.
"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF, MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She wailed as she sank into the ground.
"Wow," I said. "That's gotta take talent."
"YES!" Noella shouted.
"No?" I said back.
"TEH OWLZ, TEH'RE SO SPARKLY!!!" Skull screamed and flopped and SHOUTED AND EXPLODED and
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" I interrupted teh storrrrryyyyy
"NO YOU DIDN'T!" The one pineapple said.
"didn't, didn't, didn't," The second one echoed. Hey, I'm the narrator and I can interrupt the story.
"NO YOU CAN'T!" Noella said didn't say. HA! I can cross out whatever I want.
"dang YAY!" Skull said. "I didn't did say that." HA! HAHAHAHAHA! I'M ALL POWERFUL! But then the writer of this story intervened.
"I'M ALL POWERFULL!!!" She yelled. But I'm still the narrator, so I don't need quotation marks.
"But I created you as a character and made you the narrator! Besides, you're just a little stalker pineapple. Skull is way better than you." The writer said.
...WHAT? DiD yOu SaY?!?!
"I said, Skull is an awesomer stalker pineapple than you," The writer DARED to say. BUT I'M THE NARRATOR!
"Exactly, but I'm the writer. So I can make you exist, make you suddenly fall out of the sky, make new characters or make you get eaten by rabid pigeons. Like so," The writer snapped her fingers and suddenly I didn't exist.
"you KILLED him!" Noella exclaimed.
"Not entirely," The writer snapped her fingers again and I was back.
DAH! What did you DO?!?!?!
"Simple. I made you nonexistent, then made you exist." She pointed out logically.


Xylia Dane the white werewolf
Claudia Walt the human and her horse, Draco
Zeus the dragon
Kayla Campbell the Vampire
Drake the Android
Nyla Starshooter the Eastern Dragon, Featharay the Amphithere, Haze the phoenix, Cyclone the mer-horse, Kaylee Jarvis the Mermaid, Comet the Cat Sidhe
BRAZZLEGIRL ♫ ♪ ♫ Violinist by day, ♫ ♪ ♫ TIME LORD by night.
This is Gallifrey....our childhood...our home

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